Cyber Kids

I'm not sure about other parents but I'm fighting for my kids' attention and losing out to technology. The computer, iPods, mobile phones, playstations are a constant companion for most of our children across Malaysia.

Even though I have a 'contract' with each of them, it is sometimes still difficult to get everybody to join in the family activity or even to watch a movie together at home. Further more my eldest son has shown signs that he is not happy with my controlling manner. I expect my kids to abide by the 'contract' - break the 'contract' and all the gadgets are switched off.

And for me, I would rather have them outside the house with some physical activities to enjoy e.g at the swimming pool, at the gym or at the football field instead of safely tuck in their bedroom with the computer. With social networking sites, blogs, chat rooms, online gaming and much more, the internet is actually like an open window to a dangerous world if we don't know how to manage our kids' computer usage.

I read in a magazine recently that computers can seriously threaten a child's psychological development - it can lure children to the world they are not equipped to handle - if a child is communicating one way, that is, through the keyboard, their brain cells will wither and die.

Whatever it is, at the moment, I have to take control of the gadgets - it's not a right, it's a privilege! It's also a dilemma for me hahaha. Tips anyone?

Dragon Lady? Mommy Monster?

When someone you have known for so long describes you in a way you least expect, it’s a strange feeling. But that’s exactly what happened to me recently – in this case, it’s my husband; Yazid who said I was harsh with our children.

I was really angry – no – maybe frustrated because I never realized what a dragon lady I was. I kept ribbing him saying: ‘Come on, I wasn’t that bad! Was I?’ and this only encouraged him even more.

However when I think back, he’s right. I never realised how terrible it must have sounded to others when I had to discipline my children anywhere I was/they were. For Yazid, it’s a big NO-NO to discipline the children if our family members are around but not for me.

To be consistent, I have to reinforce boundaries no matter where or who is around. And I think part of the reason my children are such good kids today is because they have been given behaviour boundaries. I have always encouraged them to know the difference between right and wrong. I taught them that there’s a consequence for every action. I rarely cane them. I have their favourite past times list. So every time they forget their boundaries, they will do without one favourite past time for a week.

Yet no matter how bad I sounded in those early years (I still am today, although I very rarely need to reign in their behaviour), we are all enjoying the benefits now. I am able to take my children (except for the little one) anywhere and know that they will behave. They constantly hear feedback from guests, friends and family about what fantastic children they are. And it’s great to see the sense of pride they get when complimented.

Even funnier, 2 days ago they came back from the swimming pool and told me about a mischievous behavior of a neighbour’s son – I was as proud as punch that they recognized his bad behavior and even commented that they were glad they were not like that.

Dragon Lady? Mommy Monster? No, I am just a mother who wants her 4 children to grow up happy, respectful and be well-behaved individuals. So even though I admit to being a bit of disciplinarian at times, I know they realize it’s been worth it. It may not last forever (with all the social illnesses in this world, I am really scared), but I will be encouraging them to do the right thing as long as I can!