Dragon Lady? Mommy Monster?

When someone you have known for so long describes you in a way you least expect, it’s a strange feeling. But that’s exactly what happened to me recently – in this case, it’s my husband; Yazid who said I was harsh with our children.

I was really angry – no – maybe frustrated because I never realized what a dragon lady I was. I kept ribbing him saying: ‘Come on, I wasn’t that bad! Was I?’ and this only encouraged him even more.

However when I think back, he’s right. I never realised how terrible it must have sounded to others when I had to discipline my children anywhere I was/they were. For Yazid, it’s a big NO-NO to discipline the children if our family members are around but not for me.

To be consistent, I have to reinforce boundaries no matter where or who is around. And I think part of the reason my children are such good kids today is because they have been given behaviour boundaries. I have always encouraged them to know the difference between right and wrong. I taught them that there’s a consequence for every action. I rarely cane them. I have their favourite past times list. So every time they forget their boundaries, they will do without one favourite past time for a week.

Yet no matter how bad I sounded in those early years (I still am today, although I very rarely need to reign in their behaviour), we are all enjoying the benefits now. I am able to take my children (except for the little one) anywhere and know that they will behave. They constantly hear feedback from guests, friends and family about what fantastic children they are. And it’s great to see the sense of pride they get when complimented.

Even funnier, 2 days ago they came back from the swimming pool and told me about a mischievous behavior of a neighbour’s son – I was as proud as punch that they recognized his bad behavior and even commented that they were glad they were not like that.

Dragon Lady? Mommy Monster? No, I am just a mother who wants her 4 children to grow up happy, respectful and be well-behaved individuals. So even though I admit to being a bit of disciplinarian at times, I know they realize it’s been worth it. It may not last forever (with all the social illnesses in this world, I am really scared), but I will be encouraging them to do the right thing as long as I can!