Show Respect and Consideration to Your Neighbours

I live in a low-density condominium in Bukit Antarabangsa for the past 7 over years. With the DUKE recently opened and the Ampang-Kuala Lumpur Elevated Highway (AKLEH), KL city centre is just few minutes away. Few weeks ago, we got our newly completed mosque and everybody is looking forward to Ramadhan. All these with its existing charms (minus the landslide of course!!) make Sinaran Ukay a charming community to live in. And over the years, I have made many good friends among my neighbours. We all live in harmony without interference, intrusion and I would say that most of them have good 'neighbourhood manners'.

However late last year, there was this couple who moved into one of the penthouse units on level 9 - and so fast they have conflict with the Chairman of the Joint Management Body (JMB). It got out-of-hand recently when this couple went house-to-house to convince people that the Chairman has mismanaged the sinking fund (a pool of money set aside to pay for major works). Talking, without solid proofs to back their allegations, for some of us is just bad-mouthing. Therefore Yazid and I decided to ignore them.

2 days ago we had a small get-together at one of my neighbour's house. Few of my friends who were there told me about the lies the new neighbour has been spreading about me and Yazid. I called up few other good friends and it's the same story. Therefore I decided to write her a letter, just in case if I need a black and white if things turn ugly. I last wrote Yazid a love letter in the 90's - I hope I haven't lost the touch hehehe - so read on!

"Dear Kak N,

I’m following with much interest the issues of ‘mismanagement’ (as claimed by you) that have been going on in Sinaran Ukay. However, let me tell you that your comments to few of our neighbours about me not being trustworthy (just because my husband; Yazid is in the sub-committee) and Yazid as one of the contractors who has gained personal interest from the management, are hurtful and cruel. It’s not good-hearted teasing Kak N, it’s malicious!

You came to my house several times and I welcomed you with open minds. While you are welcome to your opinion, I don’t agree with the ways you handle the issues. Just because I don’t buy into your ‘drama’, it doesn’t mean that you can talk bad behind my back or blame me.

As a friend and as somebody who has been staying here since March 2002 (therefore I know more people than you do), these are my advices to you which obviously you didn’t gain during your 20 over years working as a journalist:-

1. Until you know/have the facts, please don’t gossip about me/other people. You have a tendency to go off at the mouth when talking about people so please do something about it.

2. Do not keep on complaining – take charge of the issues, think of different ways to turn those negatives into positives. And instigating people is definitely not one of the ways!

3. Rather than criticizing K/other people, why don’t you make polite request – even if you are right. Making a request, rather than a demand, make it easier for people to acknowledge your point. You will get a far more positive response while still making your point.

4. You moan about the same thing incessantly. You are now draining people emotionally and they don’t respect you. While I care, I just don’t want to go over that topic anymore. You need to tackle the situation but please speak with kindness – without making anybody wrong!

5. Please line yourself up to never be right in any discussions or argument – fight fair! Show other people the same consideration you wish to have in return – it will make a difference to the way people think of you.

Thank you."

There is an old saying, "an Englishman's home is his castle" - so it is the same to me - I expect to live in peace in it!! However I doubt she will change just because of my letter - hahahaha! Any thoughts?